forever and again
by gadzooks
Summary: ok the first few chapters are being reviewed and rewritten but for now i'm going to keep writing/tom is having nightmares and when he finds out what's causing them will he accept it or will he ask it to leave the ship?
1. the first day of dreams

Tom sat up in bed for the third time that night. These dreams of his were uncontrollably painful and distracting, they were starting to affect his duties. He knew that he should tell the captain but an urge in his heart stopped him from even mentioning the pain. He got out of bed and headed to the bathroom, 0600hours, he had an hour and a half to get ready. -another day, another dollar. Tom said staring at the dark circles under his eyes.  
  
The morning's staff meeting had been rutine and tom had nearly fallen asleep (as usual). But it finished and he was sent back to the bridge. He was about to go off his duty shift when an alarm went off at his console. -an alien vessel is approaching off our starbord bow. Announced tuvok in his monotonous voice. -hail them. The captain was standing infront of the viewscreen. they are not responding. It was tuvok again. Tom was loosing consentration, his mind wasn't where he was. All of a sudden a sering pain went through his head. He let out a loud yell and fell to the ground. All eyes turned to him.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Please review this is my first fan fiction so I would appreciate anything (yes even flames lol) I'm sorry it's short but if you a get a reviewin' then you'l a get a new chapter a soon 


	2. a possible enemy?

Disclaimer: (I forgot it in the 1st chapter) as you should have guessed I don't own tom paris b'ellanna torres any characters or the star trek franchise itself ( although I wish I did sometimes)it belongs to those genius people at paramount.  
  
  
  
The captain was beside tom as he sprawled himself onto the carpet covered floor of the bridge.  
  
"Tom, Tom are you ok?" The captain's voice was full of concern. The pain stopped then for a brief moment he could feel nothing and then soreness in his head no in his mind, not outside in. Another groan from Paris told Janeway that he needed to be sent to sickbay.  
  
  
  
"Doctor emergency beam out, Mr. Paris."  
  
"No I'm alright." Tom's voice was raspy but firm. "The visions have stopped for now."  
  
"The visions?" Janeway was clueless as was the rest of the bridge crew.  
  
"Never mind it's nothing I'm fine."  
  
"Captain the alien vessel is responding to our hails." Tuvok cut in.  
  
"Put them on screen." Janeway replied.  
  
Just then a teenager appeared on the screen, she couldn't have been older than 17 but she looked determined.  
  
"I'm captain Kathryn Janeway of the."  
  
"Federation starship voyager. I've heard it all before but could you please help me to your sickbay I've been through a lot this year, the Hirogen the Borg." the young voice was a refreshing change from the old cranky ones they were used to hearing.  
  
"Excuse me but I don't think I know you I'm sure we would have met, the delta quadrant is so vast and you seem to be right behind us yet our sensors didn't pick you up, how is that?" There she went again, the captain and her curiosity.  
  
"Well if you'd let me go to your sickbay to stop this terrible bleeding I'll tell you." The girl's face was becoming flushed and her voice was pained.  
  
"Of coarse, we'll beam you directly to sickbay." The Captain gestured to Tuvok and the girl shimmered off the screen.  
  
"Tom you can go to sickbay as well, and get the doctor to do a neural scan." The captain's worry returned.  
  
"Yes ma'am." Tom's voice was tired and clumbsy.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
ATTENTION this chapter along with the third and possibly the first later.  
  
Please please please review and I'll make the entries longer ok? Ok. Good ok.whew. 


	3. is this a problem?

Ok ok I changed the settings; "these" are for speech(lol) ~ these ~ are for locations * these are for thought * (which I will be using a lot in the next few chapters)  
  
  
  
~ Sickbay ~  
  
When Tom made it to the doctor he was half collapsed and his breathing had partially seised. The doctor had his back to Tom because he was performing a medical procedure of sorts on the girl. Tom had the strangest feeling since the girl arrived , and it wasn't the intense pain in his mind, she looked familiar.  
  
*But how could that be she was only a girl.* Tom's mind was not gentle with his confusion, his brain didn't let the information and logic settle his mind knew that Tom had seen her before and wouldn't let it go.  
  
As the doctor heard the doors whoosh open he paused his procedure and turned to see Tom bent over leaning on the side of the wall.  
  
"Mr. Paris, what happened?" the usual sarcasm hung heavily in the air.  
  
"There is a gaping pain in my head, the captain sent me down to." just then Tom screamed and fell to the floor in agony.  
  
  
  
~ About three hours later back in sickbay ~  
  
The captain had arrived just minutes ago and was all over the doctor with unanswerable questions.  
  
"Is he alright doctor?"  
  
" the strange thing is, he's as healthy as ever, I did a total neural scan and nothing turned up. He became aroused and I had to sedate him." The doctor's voice was starting to loose it's sarcastic predictability and it was being replaced by suspicion.  
  
"Nothing? He was practically dieing on the bridge" the captain was even more confused than when she had sent him there.  
  
A small groan came from the surgical bay. It was the girl. The captain rushed over to her and held her up to a sitting position.  
  
"Where am I?" was the girl's only statement.  
  
"You're on Voyager, remember?" Janeway was using all her strength to hold the girl up because she was not trying to sit.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Ok not the best ending but I've got writers block and I'm on vacation. Sorry for any spelling errors. Please review I need ideas so I can continue this story daily. 


	4. who, what, where, huh?

Sorry people but I'm not very good at this writing thing, it's my first one so I don't expect to be. I don't have a beta reader yet but I'm looking into it. So for now I'm stuck with Microsoft spell check. Fun.  
  
Disclaimer: as you all know I don't own the star trek voyager franchise. But you never know, I could one day. Mwahahahahahahahahahahaha!(cough) sorry.  
  
  
  
  
  
~ Sickbay ~  
  
"Thank you captain, I was just disoriented." The girl lying in sickbay was sitting up by herself, a great relief for the captain.  
  
"We have healed you, could you tell us who you are?" Janeway asked.  
  
"My name is." the girl looked around and spotted Tom unconscious on the biobed, * what have I done? * " Constance, Constance Goodheart."  
  
"What a coincidence. That's the name of my helmsman's holographic secretaries." The doctor added.  
  
"Really, was the program Captain Proton by any chance?" Goodheart was sitting at the edge of the biobed in excitement.  
  
"How would you know about that program?" the captain's suspision was at its peek since Paris designed that program, or so she'd been told.  
  
"Ah, well, I've played it a few times." Her face was not the least convincing.  
  
Janeway opened her mouth to retaliate when she notice movement on the opposite biobed. Tom was awake. She left Constance and ran over to him.  
  
"Where am I?" Tom asked the question of the day, "Oh, never mind."  
  
"That's good to know." The captain's worry was not apparent on her face, "the doctor says there's nothing wrong with you, physically or mentally."  
  
"What? No, that can't be right," Tom took a moment and paused, turning his head slowly to Goodheart, "Unless, oh my g, I can't belive you followed me out here! Are you insane?" The people in sickbay were oblivious to what ever the hell Tom was going on about, but he sure was enraged at the girl.  
  
"Tom, what are you going on about?" that was all the captain could say before he started up again.  
  
"I thought I left you in New Zealand." Tom's stress was rising visibly.  
  
"You did, I just escaped ok?" Goodheart was yelling too.  
  
"Black night, swift horse?" tom had stopped yelling and seemed to be calm enough.  
  
"No, Rick. He was supposed to meet us at visiting hours a day after you left. So, being as depressed as I was I couldn't do anything but get out and find you." Constance was still yelling.  
  
"What is going on here?!" the captain demanded, " I want to know why he's so upset, why you're here and how you plan to leave, and I want to know NOW!"  
  
"Wow hold you horses, one thing at a time, I need you to sign this Tom." Goodheart handed Tom a sheet of paper. She also hands him a pencil.  
  
"This isn't what I think it is, is it?" Tom's eyes fell.  
  
Constance looked at him through his mask, "Yes, yes it is, I want a divorce."  
  
  
  
Ooooooooooooooooooooooo,aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. What will happen next????????????????? Please review, cause I need to get some more of this out soon, I'm sorry it's short and cliff hangy but I thought it was the best way to crack the whip on your interests. More will come soon, SOON. 


	5. the confusion continues

Author's notes: I left you all really stressed last chapter because of the cliffhanger, that's why I'm adding a smaller chapter so you people aren't too crazy waiting.  
  
Disclaimer: as you might have guessed I don't own any of these characters but as diane klapper always says I'm only doing the borrowing.  
  
  
  
"Tom, you're not married, are you?" the captain had the worry on her face return, almost voluntarily.  
  
" No, NO of coarse not! She just," he let out a large sigh, "It's complicated."  
  
"Yes, yes, oh so complicated. Sign it." Constance's frank tone told the audience that she was serious.  
  
"Why should I? Shouldn't Owen have done it, or you could have gotten Katie." The croud because even more confused because of the reference to his father.  
  
"They wouldn't sign it and your father still isn't talking to me, geese, ever since we, I mean, I got kicked out of Starfleet. That man can hold a grudge, let me tell you that."  
  
"You don't have to tell me that, again." Tom looked as if he would explode.  
  
" I don't understand," the captain chimed in, " How could the Admiral sign your divorce papers, and how could you get divorced if you weren't even married?"  
  
Tom opened his mouth to speak, but Goodheart covered it.  
  
"I'll field this one, it's just a term we've used since, I dunno, since we were three." Goodheart giggled at the memory, "I just neede to get away from him, the document says, and I quote 'we, Tomas Eugine Paris and Katie Jane Sandrine will always, always be within 1 lightyear of each other. Only a member of the Paris family may break this vow, through generations to come.' End quote." Goodheart smiled.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Ok some questions answered and some are created, I'll get to writing but I'm going to try to write a longer chapter and it will take more time so please be patient, (chapter one is being redone for grammar and spacing) 


	6. deja vu

Disclaimer: I don't own star trek voyager get it? Got it? Ok then.  
  
  
  
Tom sighed, it had been a long time since he'd heard that quote. After all, he did write when he was six. "Fine, now that I think about it, I don't want you to be within 70 000 light years of me." The words from his mouth came too fast for him to stop them. He instantly regretted his statement.  
  
Katie started to cry, the first time in many years, tom noticed. The last time she'd cried was when. Tom's mind drifted to another time frame. *Oh no.* He quickly ran over to her and started to comfort her.  
  
"It's ok Katie, I won't do that to you again, I didn't mean it, it was and impulse. Shhh, shhh." Katie looked up at Tom with tear-filled eyes and smiled slightly.  
  
"That's a relief because I don't know how long I could hold those fake tears, you know how hard they are." The tears disappeared, Tom felt anger for almost the third time that day.  
  
The captain was about to explode, " Why don't we start over, you," she pointed to Katie, "Are bound to Tom in some way?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Ok, and Tom, you're not willing to sign the documents?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Well that's simple enough. Katie, you will sleep in one of the empty quarters on deck two section 27. Mr. Tuvok will accompany you. Tom, you get yoiur duty shift finished." She looked around. "Understood?"  
  
"Yes ma'am." Tom blurt out, another reflex.  
  
  
  
~ Katie's quarters ~  
  
The room was quiet, empty, but Katie knew that she wasn't really alone, she reached for the only mind she knew as well as hers. Just to feel it there with her, his mind that is, was enough for her. She knew what trying to talk to him had done. Even in his unconscious it had harmed him, she decided against ever doing it again. The man's mind was warm, and caring. She admired it, it reminded her of, * No * she told herself, * don't let yourself drift back to him, if you do you know what the end result will be* she lay on the Starfleet issue bed spread and uncomfortably drifted off to sleep.  
  
Only ten minutes later an alarm went off in Katie's room. `RED ALERT all senior officers report to the bridge.' Without thinking Katie sprung out of bed and dashed to the turbo lift.  
  
~ Bridge ~  
  
Consoles blared with alarms, people rushed in and out of the turbo lifts. Not being noticed, Katie entered the bridge.  
  
"Captain, there is an alien vessel de-cloaking off the port side." Harry sounded anxious. Not a good sign from the ensign.  
  
"Hail them." The captain said.  
  
"No response." Harry was beginning to experience deja vu.  
  
Katie knew what was coming, she had to be protected from them somehow, but at this moment she couldn't think, her mind was still bound to Tom's. All she could focus on was him. She knew that she couldn't get him stabbed or worse, changed.  
  
A group of three hooded figures beamed aboard two of which holding daggers. They swiftly moved through the bridge until stopped at phaser point by Tuvok.  
  
"State your intentions." This was not a time for calm statements but Tuvok seemed to disagree.  
  
"We come for the different one." The hooded figures spoke in unison.  
  
"Different one? Excuse me, but I don't' think that anyone on our ship is a different one. Now you must leave or stop firing on us." The captain's diplomatic steps were taking a turn for the worst.  
  
"She is here, we can feel her presence," they looked around, Katie was huddled under a console hoping not to be found. " Yet we can't see her. Curious, she has made a telepathic link, with," their eyes again scanned the room, pointing to Tom, "Him. Curious still."  
  
The bridge turned to Tom, who just shrugged. He had no knowledge of the link.  
  
"No matter, you will be sufficient." One of the hooded men pulled out his dagger and through it into Paris' chest. Tom swallowed hard, unable to breathe.  
  
Katie let out a scream of pain and guilt and ran to his side.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
So, I hope you like this chapter, not that much longer than the others, but it develops the plot nicely, I think. So get reviewing and I'll have a nice new chapter out sooner than later. 


	7. a foreshadow

Disclaimer: IT is owned by Paramount Pictures. (I'm even scared to say the names that are so carefully copyrighting.)  
  
To Sarah: thanks for the great and uplifting review. I was very close to stopping this fic because I couldn't get my thoughts out right, but BUT then you reviewed, and I found that I was not the only one with the mental blocks. Thanks again.  
  
  
  
Katie ran to Tom and knelt beside his limp body. Tears were threatening to fall as she watched just what she'd feared take place. The whole bridge seemed to drift away and it became only her and Tom.  
  
"I'm so sorry, I didn't know what I was thinking. Tom, Tom! Wake up, Wake Up! Please Tom, please, wake up." Her eyes were again flowing with tears and her words had morphed into whisper.  
  
Tom's eyes fluttered open and rested on Katie. The pain returned to his mind and he faltered in his attempt to regain a sitting position. " What?" he began to speak, but was pushed down. Having been in the same position in many other circumstances, Tom decided not to argue, instead, he looked around. Sickbay. The familiar smell of the anaesthetics filled his nose. Yet, the surrounding view was distorted, not blurred but everything had a slight blue tint to it. "Katie?" He would have said B'elana but she was all he could think about. * The telepathic link* he reminded himself, *Katie must have been fooling around again *  
  
"No Tom, it's me, B'ellana. You were stabbed." She obviously knew what he was going to ask next, because she had already answered his question.  
  
"Who were they?" Tom's eyes were burning and he needed to think of something else for the time being.  
  
"The captain's finding out right now."  
  
~ The Captain's Ready Room ~  
  
Katherine slammed her padd on the table and looked up at Katie's tear stricken face. " Who were they?"  
  
Katie tried to look calm but her face had been plastered to her pained expression. "They were, old friends."  
  
"They didn't seem friendly to me, or Tom." The captain's words pierced through her mind. *Or Tom *.  
  
His name was too painful to speak aloud so she stuttered it, "T- T- Tom wasn't supposed to be found. I let my emotions control me, and he." Katie cut herself off as she realized what she had walked into. * Come on Katie old girl, learn self-control, she's trying to find the answers to the wrong questions, don't let her in.*  
  
"And he what?" Janeway's face was stony and strict. A look she reserved for cocky pilots and troublemakers. Which in both categories included Tom Paris.  
  
"Nothing, and he did nothing. By the way, how is," she paused and stuttered his name again, "T-T-Tom?"  
  
"The doctor can find nothing wrong with him, he's being released within the hour, but you are prohibited from speaking to him. Understood?" Janeway's sudden interest in Tom's well being intrigued Katie. Since the stories that she had heard from Tom only told her about how much the crew was uninterested in him. It was to her understanding that he could get away with anything.  
  
Then the captain's commbadge went off, Doctor to Janeway  
  
"Janeway here, what's the problem Doctor?"  
  
No problem, but Tom is insisting on seeing Katie  
  
The captain gave Katie a sour glance and responded, " Very well Doctor, but I will accompany her. Janeway out." She then turned her attention back to the teenager in her ready room, " Looks like your punishment has been revoked, for the meantime." She turned and walked out of the office with Katie in tow. 


	8. what's to come?

Disclaimer: paramount owns star trek voyager ok? I said it, are you happy?  
  
The captain entered sickbay with Katie only to find the Doctor very distressed.  
  
"What's wrong doctor?" Janeway was sweeping the room for a sign of Tom, but there was none.  
  
"Tom's locked himself in my office, he demands to see Katie, now." The Doc's concern was evident as he led them to his office window. Tom was sitting in Doctor's chair, his feet up on the desk. He glanced over to the captain and the doctor. His eyes rolled, but then he noticed Katie's intense glare. * Tom, come here, I want to talk. * It was she. * I can't. * Tom's response was blunt.  
  
"Then how come you asked me to come here?" The captain and the doctor both stared at Katie.  
  
"Because you know what's happening, and I need your help!" Tom got up from his sitting position and walked over to the glass.  
  
The captain looked at Tom with utter and total shock, "Tom, your eyes." she couldn't think of anything polite to say, and she didn't have to, because Tom cut her off.  
  
"So? What about them, they've been like this for over an hour now. I'm not complaining." His rage struck them as grief.  
  
" I wasn't implying." Katie raised her hand and stared at Tom, with a focussed, strict gaze. * Tom, don't give in, you must fight your urge to lash out, just fight it. *, * I can't, I'm forgetting. I can't *  
  
"Help me, you have to." His reply was plain and simple.  
  
"I can't, not until tomorrow. You understand don't you?" she looked into Tom's flashy eyes and acceptance was evident.  
  
"What's so special about tomorrow?" the doctor's voice seemed to appear out of nowhere.  
  
"Tomorrow I am able to heal, but tomorrow and tomorrow only." The girl's face went pale, "But he needs attention now, his situation is deteriorating."  
  
"Wait a minute, what situation," the captain returned to the scene, "I had no idea we'd made an accurate diagnosis." Her eyes narrowed, "Unless you know what's going on."  
  
" What was your first guess Captain?" Tom's voice penetrated the window and hit Janeway with the force of his rage.  
  
"Put down the force field Tom, we'll help you." Katherine was extremely close to being angry with him, but she decided that it wasn't his fault, his rage was only misdirected.  
  
  
  
I know I know, longer additions less frequently but this is as far as I got until my writers block kicked in again. I think that the NEXT chapter will be the longest because I'm thinking Big confrontation or, I could just stop writing all together, it all depends on your reviews. Haha I've got you in an awkward position. Choose wisely. 


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